...I Read This Story

And it was HILARIOUS! You should read it. And then send it to everyone you know. And then read it again.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847

...I Tried to go Sledding

And an hour and five stores later, I gave up. Apparently stores no longer carry this cheap plastic wonder. Needless to say, a part of my childhood died that day. But don't worry- I redeemed the afternoon by making a snowman instead.

Oh how you've eluded me, old friend.

...I Tried To Be Charitable

And it backfired. Well not necessarily backfired, but definitely didn't work. Here's the story:

I'm walking into Temple Square in Salt Lake to meet a friend for lunch. As I'm going through the gate, a woman stops me and asks if I have any spare change. I reply that no, I didn't and that I was sorry. So I continue on my way and while my friend and I are having lunch, a lady at the sandwich shop comes by and asks us if we want some free bread since they can't use it for sandwiches anymore. Of course, still being in the starving student phase of life, we say yes. Since my friend has to go back to work, I take both loaves of bread and start walking back to my car. As I'm walking through the same gate on Temple Square the same lady stops me and asks for change. I say that no, I still didn't have any, but I did have a loaf of bread that she could have. Now I'm thinking that this is awesome- perfect opportunity to help someone and I actually had something I could give. So I'm all geared up to hand over the bread when this exchange takes place:

Me: I do have a loaf of bread I can give you. It's pretty good.

Lady: (sheepishly backing away) I...uh...well, mumble mumble mumble....I'm on a diet and watching my carbs.

Me: Huh? (followed by a very confused and suspicious stare)

So I stand there for a few seconds not really believing what this lady said to me. If you are homeless and someone is offering you free food, you would take it right? I'm not crazy in thinking this, right?! Needless to say I walked away very confused. Was she faking? I have no idea. It makes me want to be cautious in giving to those who are homeless because now I'm suspicious of everyone. 

...I Had a Blog

And after promising myself to update it regularly, I promptly forgot. Huh. But don't let my blogging absence fool you into thinking that I lead a boring life full of mundane things unworthy of blog-ness. I don't even know why you would think that at all. I'm a little offended at the suggestion. The truth is- I've been too busy and/or lazy to update. But today is the day, I can feel it in my bones....or maybe that's the cold weather....but regardless, today is the day.

I am now going to relate an event that has been very emotionally trying for me. My cousin got a puppy. And why, might you wonder, is this such a horrid thing? Because she got Satan's puppy. Yes, she got a demon masqueraded as a cute little dog with floppy ears and a waggly tail. I'll prove it to you:

Because I'm the nice cousin that I am, I offer to help out and take the puppy outside to potty train him. Imagine a brisk fall morning, the leaves are glittering with the morning's moisture as I step outside and feel a subtle breeze on my face. I begin walking toward the lawn, hopeful that this morning's potty training session will be a success. Now imagine my surprise when I look back and see that the puppy is not following me, but instead is sitting patiently at the side door, eager to get back inside. I chuckle to myself as I go over to coax the little guy into the yard. I soon realize that all my tugging is in vain- this dog is not having any of it. As the last resort I bend down to pick him up. I start walking toward the yard when.... nowayyouhave
gottobekiddingmeughihatethisdog. I look down to see a stream of wetness on my clothes. Yeah- he pees on me. All over me. Fortunately for that little sucker I was still in my pajamas.

So just remember kids- just like my life can look boring and that puppy can look innocent, looks can be deceiving.

... I was driving to Salt Lake

And I passed a new water park called Cowabunga. I was frightened for two reasons:

1. I'm pretty sure it was not there when I drove to Salt Lake last week

2. It looks like the popular children's board game Mousetrap. (What? You don't know about the game Mousetrap? Well you can't blame me for your deprived childhood.)

See- told ya.

... I bought an Imogen Heap CD

And it made me happy. Really happy. Because I love Imogen Heap- her music is simply amazing in all its eclectic wonder. She possesses an extraordinary gift for putting every emotion into words- even the innate, fleeting emotions we all experience but never pay much attention to. While I love every song on her new CD, there are a couple that I never tire of so I'm putting the lyrics of one up here and can hopefully find the song somewhere to put it on here as well.

Wait it Out

Where do we go from here?

How do we carry on?

I can't get beyond the questions

Clambering for the scraps

In the shatter of us collapsed

That cuts me with every could-have-been

Pain on pain on play repeating

With the backup, makeshift life in waiting

Everybody says

Time heals everything

But what of the wretched hollow?

The endless in between

Are we just going to wait it out?

There's nothing to see here now

Turning the sign around

We're closed to the earth 'til further notice

A stumbling clichéd case

Crumpled and puffy faced

Dead in the stare of a thousand miles

All I want, only one, street level miracle

I'll be an out and out, born again, from none more cynical

And sit here cold, we will be long gone by then

In lackluster, in dust we layer on old magazines,

fluorescent lighting sets the scene

For all we could and should be being

In the one life that we've got

And sit here

Just going to wait it out

And sit here cold

Just going to sweat it out

Wait it out

You should probably go and buy it... like yesterday.