...I Had a Blog

And after promising myself to update it regularly, I promptly forgot. Huh. But don't let my blogging absence fool you into thinking that I lead a boring life full of mundane things unworthy of blog-ness. I don't even know why you would think that at all. I'm a little offended at the suggestion. The truth is- I've been too busy and/or lazy to update. But today is the day, I can feel it in my bones....or maybe that's the cold weather....but regardless, today is the day.

I am now going to relate an event that has been very emotionally trying for me. My cousin got a puppy. And why, might you wonder, is this such a horrid thing? Because she got Satan's puppy. Yes, she got a demon masqueraded as a cute little dog with floppy ears and a waggly tail. I'll prove it to you:

Because I'm the nice cousin that I am, I offer to help out and take the puppy outside to potty train him. Imagine a brisk fall morning, the leaves are glittering with the morning's moisture as I step outside and feel a subtle breeze on my face. I begin walking toward the lawn, hopeful that this morning's potty training session will be a success. Now imagine my surprise when I look back and see that the puppy is not following me, but instead is sitting patiently at the side door, eager to get back inside. I chuckle to myself as I go over to coax the little guy into the yard. I soon realize that all my tugging is in vain- this dog is not having any of it. As the last resort I bend down to pick him up. I start walking toward the yard when.... nowayyouhave
gottobekiddingmeughihatethisdog. I look down to see a stream of wetness on my clothes. Yeah- he pees on me. All over me. Fortunately for that little sucker I was still in my pajamas.

So just remember kids- just like my life can look boring and that puppy can look innocent, looks can be deceiving.